Why you shouldn't get too involved on forums.

[ElijahTW]

I know this is old (~2004), and I have mentioned this article in an somewhat unrelated thread awhile ago.

I bring this up because I too have been becoming too involved with the forums, and spending way too much time on the internet. I just re-read this and it worried me a bit, because I know me, and probably a few other people around here spend too much time on forums.

So please give this a read, especially if you find yourself spending more time on the internet then with real friends.

The Internet, Xs, And Suicide - Scenyx Entertainment Community

Originally Posted by HSDEMONZ from Xbox-Scene

I got news about a member of XS.. who committed Suicide this past Tues.

Allow me to spend a few minutes and comment about this.

He was a semi active poster here.. more than a few hundred posts.. and loved this site, and related scene channels. Active in some of the technical forums.

He was a teen.. who had the typical batch of problems some teens have...

Problems with skin.. acne.. etc.
Problems with being unpopular..
Problems at home with parents and siblings..
Couldn't get more than one date with a girl..

...and more.

Well.. I guess he felt that the one thing he was good at was XBOX. He was a great game player. Played with him a few time myself on Xbconnect. Playing him made you a better player.. cause it was clear he was a borderline clan type player.

He also loved to dig into the scene.. and learn all about what you can do with a modded unit. Few people knew more than him.

Now here is where it all turns sour.

Well.. his parents started fighting.. more often then usual at XMAS... ruined xmas. Tension brewed.. and one walked out on the other. Now we have a broken house.. and an already depressed and screwed up kid. Well.. one of the two parents decided to commit suicide. As you can imagine.. in a household that had problems.. this just made things 100 times worse.

So.. he now has one widowed parent.. things can't get much worse right?

January rolls around.. report card time. Bad grades.. surviving parent decideds for the first time to smack our member knocking them to the ground.

One dead parent.. one abusive parent.

He then heads off to school for the new semester. Acne not giving him any breaks.. and all his attempts to gain acceptance amongst his peers just get him ridiculed.

Somewhere along the line.. he managed to get a girl in the same grade to go out with him. Not sure how he did it.. but managed to have sex with her. Both being 14.. young and stupid... turns out she got pregnant. (he was batting 1000 apparently)

So.. for those keeping school.. busted up homelife.. one dead parent.. screwed up social life and school life.. and a "girlfriend" he touched once and got pregnant.

Now.. this is where XS comes in.

Instead of getting professional Physhiactric help.. he decided to pour himself into this site. He become active. reading and absorbing everything. He becomes a BST sellers and trader and starts bartering alot on the forum. He becomes active in 6 or 7 scene related channels.

He then makes a few mistakes...

In BST.. he screws up a few transactions. His name get's tarnished. In other forums.. he made the mistake of assuming something when in fact he was wrong.. got exposed for it.. and then was laughed at.

This carries over into his IRC persona.. where people realize the connection from his now screwed up XS name.. and his IRC Persona. He is again pushed aside.. taunted.. and laughed at.

So.. he comes back online to XS.. makes some slams against the staff.. and decides to go out in a blaze of glory. Posts some clealry bad ****.. (double whammy of porn links and backups sales) in an effort to get some attention one last time. He gets it.. gets banned for it.

A couple of days later he was dead.

I spent 2 hours with his mother Friday night. Accessed his account from his machine.. and found PM's to and from members. Plenty of them cruel reminders that this guy just couldn't seem to find a way to fit in.

Talked to his mom.. and found that she didn't even know he was dead for 24 hrs because she was too drunk. Sad.

Learned though.. that the boy was on and off illegal drugs.. and was on and off prescribed anti-depressants.. etc. This kid was a toxic cocktail. He had stopped getting profession help 10 months befire taking his own life. By my calculation.. that means his entire time on this site.. when he should have been getting professional help.. he was ignoring the advice of family, friends, and medical professionals... and wasting hours online this site and related channels.. trying to gain himself an "image" as a cool XS member.

He had aspirations of trying to be a DEV in this scene... always mouthing off about this project and that. Mostly to get attention. Because of his immaturity.. the only attention he got from anyone was bad. His replies to some negative posts just made the situation worse for him.. as people can smell a fraud a mile away.

Bottom line.. one dumb kid who spent too much time online and not enough time with his friends and family and doctors took his life.

He's not the first person to attempt.. or claim to attempt suicide. But as far as I know.. he was the first to succeed. A few Months ago.. another dumb kid came on XS.. who had some personal issue like home, family and school etc.. had turned XS and online life into his sanctuary.. then one day flipped out.. Posted a suicide letter on XS and then gave goodbe notices in relevant irc channels. He then allegedly popped some pills.. and would be dead if not for the interfence and good judgement of another member. He too.. spent far too much time online.. and on this site... instead of living in the real world.. with real people.. and getting REAL help from medical professionals.

We see the signs in other members lately as well I'm afriad. These members have taken to XS like a fish does to water. However.. already.. the signs are there that they spend too much time here.. and give this site too much importance in their lives. A few in Newbie Chat.. and a few in some other technical and sales forums. They are spending what appears as all of their free time.. helping.. posting.. etc. However.. .some took there activity to mean that they were special.. or worse.. that XS owed them something. So their attitude changed.. posts became agressive and anti-XS or anti-autohrity etc. Night and day difference in their posting habits. It's extremely clear that these people who once relished or cherished this site.. and now are pissed off and upset because they haven't gotten the "respect" or whatever it is they think they are owed by this scene real or imagined. These people need to unplug. and get help asap. I won't mention names.. it's not necessary. Most of you may know who they new trouble makers are.. and see the same signs that we do.

Other people.. with lesser mental disorders.. but still should seek clinical help.. have taken to making mimic sites of xs. These people too.. appear to suffer from various stages of mental disorder.. boardering on the addictive / obsessive. Having had their accounts banned.. and not being welcome here on XS.. they take the initiative to regain what they have lost.. in a veiled attempt anyways.. by producing a mimic site that they can control. (which in itself is laughable.. considering it's the control aspects of XS some of them *****ed about most.) They ended up being a gathering of mostly members who are banned.. who never contributed here in any useful or meaningful fashion. (with the exception of one or two individuals) These are people.. at least the obsessive ones who created the mimic sites.. I hope will seek the medical attention they need and deserve.

Then you have another group of disturbed people.. these are the ones you might be more familair with. They post for awhile.. don't like the fact a mod stepped on their toes.. then make it their personal mission in life to make that moderator's job harder. These people are the reason Head Mods now have the power to remove your priv to post on XS. These users turn around.. and post crap like "XS sucks" or "XS is this and that.." and that it "doesn't matter to them". Funny thing.. if it didn't matter to them.. they wouldn't post. The usual pattern after a post like that.. is that they act out more.. and make more posts like XS doesn't matter to them. As you can see.. it does. These are the people I'm currently most concerned about. They like to bash people.. and make obnoxious claims that people here have no life.. etc.. however.. if they had "lives" outside of XS.. they would see the futility of their posts. We do. They may have any number of disorders.. boarding on the addictive / obsessive to the attention seeking / doesn't get the love and attention from other sources. These people.. are at an early stage in their disorder.. and can likley be treated if they seek help now.. instead of wasting their precious time on XS.

These disorder that the oabove members are sufferings from.. may not lead directly to suicide.. but they will linger and fester to engulf other aspects of their lives.. affecting everything from their social lives to whether or not they will be a functional and contributing member of society.

Some quotes from the CDC...

QUOTE
- Suicide took the lives of 29,350 Americans in 2000 (1)
- Persons under age 25 accounted for 15% of all suicides in 2000.1 From 1952-1995, the incidence of suicide among adolescents and young adults nearly tripled. From 1980-1997, the rate of suicide among persons aged 15-19 years increased by 11% and among persons aged 10-14 years by 109%. From 1980-1996, the rate increased 105% for African-American males aged 15-19.1,8
- For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death, behind unintentional injury and homicide. In 1999, more teenagers and young adults died from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, and chronic lung disease combined.1
- Among persons aged 15-19 years, firearm-related suicides accounted for more than 60% of the increase in the overall rate of suicide from 1980-1997.1

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web-based Injury Statistics Query and Reporting System (WISQARS) [Online]. (2002). National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (producer). Available from: URL: www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars. [2003 March 27].

If you spend more than 2+ hours on the site per day.. and you aren't a mod, dev, seller, etc.. talk to some friends and family and ask them what they think of your current activities. IF they are honest.. most will tell you that too much time is spent here.

If you think you might have an addictive personality.. or suspect you are slipping into depression.. please.. XS is not the place to find help. You need to talk to family, Friends, and real Doctors. People with PHD beside their name.. not HEAD MOD or ADMIN under it.

If you don't have a family doctor.. call your local health phone line.. or hospital and get some help from professionals who are trained to help.. and who know what they are talking about.

What I want to get across to people.. is that it's great that you love this site.. and want to post alot. Some of you for whatever reasons may have aspirations to even become mods ( I have no idea why though.. it's not fun ). What you can't do.. and shouldn't do.. is make XS.. or any site.. the center of your personal and social universe. Same goes with the IRC channels... which can be even more addictive.

We have no way to keep people from being overly active on the site or the channel. Whatever the age.. you need to make your own decisions how much is too much. Personally.. if you aren't staff.. and aren't a reseller or BST active trader or installer.. then you likely shouldn't be on the site more than 2 hours per day.. and at that... I'm probably being Generous.

I'm an Admin.. I try to read current topics in all forums.. and I'm on the site 4 times per day no matter where I am.. even if that means connecting via wireless means.. but I still try not to spend more tha 2 hours per day total.

XS is great.. but you can't have it be everything in your life. Some day... we will close this site. Nothing is forever. What will you do then? (assuming you are "addicted" like this member was)

Go outside.. breath fresh air. Go to School. Go to Classes. When needed.. get professional help from REAL doctors and not strangers on XS.

Also
I think its worth mentioning, that just maybe we should stop being so hard on some of the noobs. You never know how unbalanced some of them are, and how your insults may affect them.

__________________

"I used to think gas was expensive, then I realized we're buying liquid exploding dinosaurs."

[TheCloudOfSmoke]

Yeah, I have been on here a lot lately too. I spend more time than I should here. When I wake up, on my lunch break, when I get home from work and before I go to bed. Though I only check new posts and reply to the ones that interest me and I get off and do other stuff. I really have nothing else to do on my lunch break and I only have an hour, so I get a Hot Pocket and have some LOLs and get back to work. I do have a life outside of NGemu, just not as much as I used to when I was younger. Work makes me tired and makes me want to just get home and relax while reading some new posts for a while. But I do have friends and I spend time with my girlfriend on the weekends and hang out with my brother and go to his baseball games and play new video games together, etc. So yeah, I guess I balance things out some. Sometimes it can be really fun here, which is why I like to hang out here. But I would never kill myself over something on the internet.

BTW: The guy V1ncent is becoming an ok guy in the bin, though some members here still pick on him. I picked on him a few times when he first came in the bin (which I do to most bin virgins to test them, nothing personal) but now I don't because he's proven that he can take a joke (when it isn't too personal to him, like family) and he doesn't take things to the heart. He doesn't seem like a dumbass and sometimes comes up with witty remarks against some of the established bin members. So he's cool in my book.

EDIT: Sorry for the bintalk, I thought this was in the bin at first.

__________________
http://thecloudofsmoke.deviantart.com

Originally Posted by BigIg

If I support the game company, then I won't won't be supporting the blank DVD business.

Decisions, decisions.

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Last edited by TheCloudOfSmoke; April 26th, 2008 at 00:37..

[Raefraction]

I have to say, that V1ncent guy has taken a lot of not so nice stuff (maybe in jest maybe not) on the chin and for that I commend him. I agree he has proven that he's got the balls to be in the bin! Good for him.

__________________
"I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones" - John Peel

[cottonvibes]

i wonder if that story is even true.

it seems the author knows an awfully lot about the the protagonist, even though he supposedly had no friends...


anyways, bad things are more likely to happen when you go out with so called "friends".
if that kid got some friends, most-likely they would just be drug-addicts and then he would have just become a hardcore druggy.
and eventually died of an OD.

__________________

"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." - Albert Einstein
check out my blog

[Cheesus]

****...

When I'm at home the whole day, I can easily spend up to 3 (even 4) hours over here. Although personally, I'm not too worried. I know this might seem really corny, I've learned to accept people more, even be less judgmental from the forum.

Call me ***** for all I care, but its on these forums that I've realized that the IQ or logic behind a person, doesn't necessarily reflect their appearance or state of mind. A few months back I had a full blown vendetta against anyone emo... Now, while I clearly don't agree with it (or even people who pose to be emos), I just accept it as an outlook that person has taken. Same goes for a multitude of people I used to stereotype (Emo is just an example).

Not to mention all the stuff I've learnt in general.


@TCOS
Yeah, good point. *mental note*

__________________

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Lenovo x121e: Core i3 2367M; Intel HD3000; 4Gb 1333Mhz; 128Gb OCZ Vertex 4; 11" Matte Display; Windows 8 Pro 64bit

[skoreanime]

Meh, forums like these is what a lot of emotionally challenged teens go to. It's pretty easy to pick them out and depending on my mood...I can sometimes be an ass, but usually I act accordingly as I was taught by my parents and other peers.

Respect is one word people should start thinking about nowadays...a lot of the 15-25 year olds today don't seem to have any.

[TheCloudOfSmoke]

Originally Posted by Cheesus

****...

When I'm at home the whole day, I can easily spend up to 3 (even 4) hours over here. Although personally, I'm not too worried. I know this might seem really corny, I've learned to accept people more, even be less judgmental from the forum.

Call me ***** for all I care, but its on these forums that I've realized that the IQ or logic behind a person, doesn't necessarily reflect their appearance or state of mind. A few months back I had a full blown vendetta against anyone emo... Now, while I clearly don't agree with it (or even people who pose to be emos), I just accept it as an outlook that person has taken. Same goes for a multitude of people I used to stereotype (Emo is just an example).

Not to mention all the stuff I've learnt in general.


@TCOS
Yeah, good point. *mental note*

Funny thing is that I've also become more accepting because of this place. Weird that it can do that to you. I guess you start to chat and be cool with someone who is the opposite of who you would normally hang out with and even though they may be really emo or whatever, you see them for the person that they are with the fun chats that you've had with them and you realize that you shouldn't judge them by their looks, style, or sexual lifestyle or whatever.

__________________
http://thecloudofsmoke.deviantart.com

Originally Posted by BigIg

If I support the game company, then I won't won't be supporting the blank DVD business.

Decisions, decisions.

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Last edited by TheCloudOfSmoke; April 26th, 2008 at 00:35.. Reason: I thought that this was in the bin.

[Zack]

I spend far too much time online. I am wasting my life on it.

I really need to start going out on weekends again and partying instead of just posting here and other sites.

Like it is stupid really, I'm 22, have barley any social life (my own fault), I'm popular just waste to much time online to socialise properly. Also no girlfriend as a result either.

Time to rectify those two things I think

It's addictive though.

__________________
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InfuseDreams.com

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Last edited by Zack; April 26th, 2008 at 00:36..

[Squall-Leonhart]

Originally Posted by Raefraction

I have to say, that V1ncent guy has taken a lot of not so nice stuff (maybe in jest maybe not) on the chin and for that I commend him. I agree he has proven that he's got the balls to be in the bin! Good for him.

[cottonvibes]

Originally Posted by TheCloudOfSmoke

Funny thing is that I've also become more accepting because of this place. Weird that it can do that to you. I guess you start to chat and be cool with someone who is the opposite of who you would normally hang out with and even though they may be really emo or whatever, you see them for the person that they are with the fun chats that you've had with them and you realize that you shouldn't judge them by their looks, style, or sexual lifestyle or whatever.

yeah me too.

i normally wouldn't talk to some people on here in real life.

like BigIg is a football player/jock, and in real life i would have probably judged him for it, but he seems like a cool person on the forums.

i think though, since everyone here has a common interest in emulation, and usually computers, its easier to get along though...

like a typical jock wouldn't even know what an emulator is...

__________________

"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." - Albert Einstein
check out my blog

[TheCloudOfSmoke]

Originally Posted by cottonvibes

yeah me too.

i normally wouldn't talk to some people on here in real life.

like BigIg is a football player/jock, and in real life i would have probably judged him for it, but he seems like a cool person on the forums.

i think though, since everyone here has a common interest in emulation, and usually computers, its easier to get along though...

like a typical jock wouldn't even know what an emulator is...

Totally agree. Any yeah, BigIg is a really well rounded type of guy.

__________________
http://thecloudofsmoke.deviantart.com

Originally Posted by BigIg

If I support the game company, then I won't won't be supporting the blank DVD business.

Decisions, decisions.

[MT]

That IS possible. I myself feel bad when I argue with someone here (or in other forums) or have some important decision to take. But nah, I guess I am not the suicidal type.

Yeah BigIg, you're right. We need to learn to joke with things that people won't make a fuzz about. And behave ourselves too. Internet is a serious thing nowadays.

__________________
I do flash and photoshop... stuff.

[blueshogun96]

I remember that thread. I even posted in it (IIRC).

Xbox-Scene is a very rough forum and is very hard to get along in there. It's 10x worse then this forum when it comes to mean and cruel members. I eventually left because of the XS-****Heads. When I first joined that forum, all I tried to do was ask reasonable questions and try to be helpful. All I got was flames flames flames. I got sick of it and left.

Suicide is the pussies way out. Only a ***** would commit suicide for reasons that are only temporary (high school bulls@#% doesn't matter in the real world). I do feel sorry for that member, but commiting suicide because you got banz0red for a forum, can't make friends IRL, or being just plain nerdy just doesn't add up. I went through similar bulls#@% when I was in high school, but I didn't give a f@#% and brushed them off.

I doubt anyone is like that here. If so, then grow up... life is pain, get over it...

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Last edited by blueshogun96; April 26th, 2008 at 04:51..

[imlost]

Lo... I mean sad story.

Quick question though, how does a 14 year old get pregnant?

[MT]

Originally Posted by imlost

Quick question though, how does a 14 year old get pregnant?

The same way a 30 year old woman get... or you come from Mars?

__________________
I do flash and photoshop... stuff.

[TheCloudOfSmoke]

Originally Posted by imlost

Lo... I mean sad story.

Quick question though, how does a 14 year old get pregnant?

Sex - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



I think it's time for you to have a talk with your parents about the birds and the bees.

__________________
http://thecloudofsmoke.deviantart.com

Originally Posted by BigIg

If I support the game company, then I won't won't be supporting the blank DVD business.

Decisions, decisions.

[Rebel_X]

Originally Posted by imlost

Lo... I mean sad story.

Quick question though, how does a 14 year old get pregnant?

first they start kissing, goes beautiful kiss then another, more passion, a french kiss, then he unzip his pan... shall I tell u how to make sex for god sake..

__________________

Kuroshіtsuji (Sebastian: "I am one 'hell' of a butler")

[cottonvibes]

from TCOS's post i learned all about sex.

first the femal cone

touches the male cone

and then a baby is formed!

__________________

"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it." - Albert Einstein
check out my blog

[imlost]

Originally Posted by MiretanK

The same way a 30 year old woman get... or you come from Mars?

Hmm... maybe that's why, or maybe I'm just too stupid to realize that getting a teenage girl, who 14 or less, pregnant can be that easy.

[fried_egg]

Originally Posted by zion

I spend far too much time online. I am wasting my life on it.

I really need to start going out on weekends again and partying instead of just posting here and other sites.

Like it is stupid really, I'm 22, have barley any social life (my own fault), I'm popular just waste to much time online to socialise properly. Also no girlfriend as a result either.

Time to rectify those two things I think

It's addictive though.

who says going out and partying is any better of a way to spend your time?