Porn & 'Her' Self-Esteem

[blueshogun96]

http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/20...cid=todmsnbc11

Young women who report that their romantic partners look at porn frequently are less happy in their relationships than women partnered with guys who more often abstain, new research finds.
The study bolsters some anecdotal evidence that men's porn use can shake the self-esteem of their girlfriends or wives, though certainly not all couples have conflicts over pornography, said study researcher Destin Stewart, a clinical psychology intern at the University of Florida. Stewart decided to investigate the effect of porn on relationships after some of her clients revealed that they were struggling with the issue.

A number of studies that have interviewed women about pornography find a range of feelings on the topic, from "scathing to mildly positive," Stewart and University of Tennessee psychologist Dawn Szymanski wrote online May 6 in the journal Sex Roles. Nevertheless, concerns about measuring up to the images found in pornography were a common theme. In one 1999 study, for example, a participant told researchers, "These men look at these pictures and say, 'Look at her. She's just beautiful. Why can't you be like that?'" [ Is Porn Bad For You? ]

Few of these studies had hard numbers to back up the interviews, however. Stewart wanted to understand how widespread these feelings might be. She recruited 308 college women, ages 18 to 29 years old, to fill out online questionnaires about their current partner's porn use as well as their relationship quality, sexual satisfaction and self-esteem. All of the women were heterosexual and most were white.

The results showed that women who reported that their boyfriends or husbands looked at more pornography were less likely to be happy in their relationships than women who said their partners didn't look at pornography very often. When women were bothered by their partner's porn use, saying, for example, that they believed he was a porn addict or that he used porn more than a "normal" amount, they were also more likely to have low self-esteem and to be less satisfied with both their relationship and their sex life.
Sex and self-esteem
The findings showed that the statistical link between frequency of porn use and relationship dissatisfaction was partially explained by low self-esteem among the women in these relationships. But that doesn't prove that porn necessarily caused the women's self-esteem to drop. It's a chicken-and-egg problem, Stewart said: Women whose partners watch a lot of porn might begin to feel more insecure. Or women who feel bad about themselves might seek out or stay with porn-loving guys more often than secure women. [ 6 Tips for a Happy Relationship ]
The study is limited to a youthful demographic, and most of the relationships were short-term, Stewart said. Because most of the couples weren't co-habitating, the women might not know how much porn their partners actually watched, she said.
"You might be more dissatisfied knowing that your husband of 10 years is looking at pornography versus your 18-year-old boyfriend where you have no idea what he looks at on his computer," Stewart said.
When pornography does become a problem in relationships, Stewart said she counsels women not to compare themselves with porn starlets. In couples counseling, she encourages communication and compromise.
"It's just about trying to do some education about what is realistic and unrealistic and trying to get couples to be honest about what their wants and needs and desires are," Stewart said.

EDIT: Nevermind.

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Last edited by blueshogun96; June 2nd, 2012 at 23:46..

[Strike105X]

Oh no not another one of those genius "researches" *facepalms*...

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[blueshogun96]

And now you know another reason why our economy is still in the crapper, because we still waste money on useless endeavours. I actually find this study interesting. I can see you hating it because you probably hate to think it to be true.

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[Strike105X]

lol shogun, first of all you can't categories the whole world based on the few recruits that the "researcher" supposedly had, take me for example, most girls i know are opened to the idea of porn, i know quite a few couples introducing it as to spice things up a bit do i say all are like that ? Nope, because i learned not to generalize, there are to many variables and that's the same for that "research", seems to me far fetched.

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[blueshogun96]

Originally Posted by Strike105X

lol shogun, first of all you can't categories the whole world ...

Okay, can I stop you there for a second? I never categorized anyone from the start, let alone the whole world. I never said "the whole world", you did.

Btw, I never said I actually believed it from the start either.

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[runawayprisoner]

After reading the paper, I got this message: us researchers are not happy with our women, so we look at porn, and then our girls got jealous.

My assessment: be content with what you have.

On a side note, does gay porn have the same effect?

[Xblade]

Originally Posted by blueshogun96

And now you know another reason why our economy is still in the crapper, because we still waste money on useless endeavours. I actually find this study interesting. I can see you hating it because you probably hate to think it to be true.

I watch porn about 5 times a week, I've never spent a dime.

This article is basically saying people might get jealous if they find their partner looking at others for sexual needs.

What a huge revelation.

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[Xblade]

Originally Posted by runawayprisoner

On a side note, does gay porn have the same effect?

More likely than not. Humans will always compare themselves to everything they see.

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[Irukapooka]

Originally Posted by Xblade

This article is basically saying people might get jealous if they find their partner looking at others for sexual needs.

What a huge revelation.

^This. Hence why I have a hard time with it.

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[Princess Garnet]

People have sexual desires, and because I might be involved with someone for love, it doesn't mean that I think those desires are limited to being met by me.

I don't tend to jump at sex; I'll perhaps only sleep with someone I love to some degree, so you might say I'm only saying that to be fair, but that's not why I feel this way.

I just don't think we own others' sexual desires for being involved with them. Now this doesn't mean they can run them rampant. There is some compromise involved (that's the key, not totally controlling it nor letting it run rampant). If he's out sleeping with other people, or a sexual relationship lessens because of it, that's one thing and not okay, but this would otherwise be okay (if not to an extreme) by me. On average, guys are probably more interested in it more of the time, and more for looks too, and that part of it is often a natural desire, so I don't like to control it or take it personally if he does this.

We're going to be self conscious either way, and we have natural sexual desires either way. So long as I know I'm the one he's coming to for the real love, and that he loves me, what he does with his eyes and mind (again, to an extent; it is bad when it's overdone) is something I feel is not my right to rule over.

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[KrossX]

[...]
A number of studies that have interviewed women about pornography find a range of feelings on the topic, from "scathing to mildly positive," Stewart and University of Tennessee psychologist Dawn Szymanski wrote online May 6 in the journal Sex Roles. Nevertheless, concerns about measuring up to the images found in pornography were a common theme. In one 1999 study, for example, a participant told researchers, "These men look at these pictures and say, 'Look at her. She's just beautiful. Why can't you be like that?'" [ Is Porn Bad For You? ]

[...]

After reading that I couldn't stop considering the article as another "Love Plus" article. Then in my mind the researchers became denizens of 2ch.

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[Xblade]

Originally Posted by Irukapooka

^This. Hence why I have a hard time with it.

Imo if you notice your partner has a problem with you looking at it you should stop if you want to keep your relationship.

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[Xblade]

Originally Posted by Princess Garnet

We're going to be self conscious either way, and we have natural sexual desires either way. So long as I know I'm the one he's coming to for the real love, and that he loves me, what he does with his eyes and mind (again, to an extent; it is bad when it's overdone) is something I feel is not my right to rule over.

If only more people were like this. We'd probably have less divorces.

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[Strike105X]

^Indeed +1 for Garnet's post.

Originally Posted by KrossX

After reading that I couldn't stop considering the article as another "Love Plus" article. Then in my mind the researchers became denizens of 2ch.

Indeed, that's the part that got me to .

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[Irukapooka]

Originally Posted by Xblade

Imo if you notice your partner has a problem with you looking at it you should stop if you want to keep your relationship.

Exactly. And I follow that with anything intimate as well. If one person in the relationship is uncomfortable with something, then I believe that they should talk about it first and then if they cannot come to an agreement, do not do it.

If it bothers you that much then break off the relationship and do what you want. If not, you must realize that you do not ever want your partner to become uncomfortable around you.

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[blueshogun96]

Originally Posted by runawayprisoner

After reading the paper, I got this message: us researchers are not happy with our women, so we look at porn, and then our girls got jealous.

My assessment: be content with what you have.

Well said. These days, people tend to be lovers of only their selves. When "she" doesn't put out, that gives him the provision to either look at porn or worse yet, cheat.

A classic mistake that women (and sometimes men) do is to punish their significant other by saying "no sex for you"! That is basically giving them provisions to search for other means of sexual satisfaction. Sexual desire is perfectly normal and it's not a "sin" to have it either, or to want it fulfilled. You can't have a monopoly on what your partner does with his or her body, deciding when or when he/she doesn't get some poon.

Originally Posted by Xblade

I watch porn about 5 times a week, I've never spent a dime.

Actually I was talking about the money wasted on such research studies...

There's more than enough free porn to keep even TCoS busy for a few years.

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