How do you deal with depression

[Silenus]

I would like to get some advice on

How do you deal with a person who suffers from depression?

I've been having a lot of trouble with my gf 'cause she somedays is happy but somedays she's totally down.

I try to keep her busy but when she's alone, she starts thinking bad things and feels like she doesn't want to live.

That really worries me and I care a lot about her, but I don't know what to do to help her stop that.

Maybe one of you guys has had to deal with someone like that.
I would like to know what do you recommend me to do.

I got her some interesting books but she doesn't like to much to read.

[blueshogun96]

Ok

1. You can take your gf to a psyciatrist (SP?). They have experience with depressed patients.

2. I hear there is a depession medication called zoloft that actually works.
Another member of this forum tried it and it worked. Give it a try.

3. If you beleive in God, pray for her

[metalgear]

hmmm.... I would say the best thing to do is listen, you can't really help some one who doesn't think that there is something wrong with them, and listening helps alot to because even if they say that they don't want to talk they usually do, so in my experience just be there don't presure them into talking or thinking that there is something worng with them because that could make things worse. just be a friend. I have only had two girl friends and they both had alot of problems and carried a lot things around that brought them down. but it sounds like you are doing a good job, and it sounds like you care alot. hopefully things start looking up.

[industrian]

metalgear got it right. By allowing people to talk about their problems in a non threatening or demeaning environment, it does wonders. I used to have full blown depression between 1998 and 2004 and I never had anyone to talk to about it (and still don't). I have a form of SAD and general bouts of depression now and then, but it's getting better.

All I'm gonna say that she's lucky she has someone to talk to.

[Kirby]

Originally Posted by blueshogun96

2. I hear there is a depession medication called zoloft that actually works.
Another member of this forum tried it and it worked. Give it a try.

I just wanna put my 2 cents in.....I was on zoloft for about 3 months, and I developed a serious suicidal reaction to it, almost took my life (symbolically and physically)....

Not saying zoloft is like this for everyone, but "recommending" medication to try is just obserd in my opinion, unless if done by a professional. Each medication does something different to treat depression. There is no 1 miracle pill that will work for everyone.

I will say this though to Silenus: do not take it into your own hands. You can do alot to help, but you need to get her to a psychologist ASAP. If something does happen, you'll be thinking "What-If" for the rest of your life :/

[Silenus]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I'm thinking to get a professional help for that.

I'm trying to be the most comprensive with her, she knows that she has a problem and I think that's a progress.

[Cid Highwind]

You can take her to a psychiatrist or psychologist (what's the difference anyway?) and try to get more info through him, however things like that will probably make her feel less comfortable then when she can tell you what's on her mind because she knows and trusts you. Remember that the psychiatrist is a complete stranger to her, so it's quite a big step to take.

From my experience listening to the person gets half the job done. Knowing that there's actually one who does care helps immensively. When you get to know her and her problems better you will learn how to deal with situations and how to turn bad moods away. However, some people will always live on the brink of being depressed, no matter how much they talk, so be prepared to take a few hits when she will fall back again.

[MiretanK]

Originally Posted by Silenus

I would like to get some advice on

How do you deal with a person who suffers from depression?

I've been having a lot of trouble with my gf 'cause she somedays is happy but somedays she's totally down.

I try to keep her busy but when she's alone, she starts thinking bad things and feels like she doesn't want to live.

That really worries me and I care a lot about her, but I don't know what to do to help her stop that.

Maybe one of you guys has had to deal with someone like that.
I would like to know what do you recommend me to do.

I got her some interesting books but she doesn't like to much to read.

Oh dear i'm sorry to hear that
As you may know, actually I'm with those kind of problems too.

A professional help is very helpful, to don't say needed. As far as my psychiatric said to me, psychiatric disturbes like depression and anxiousity (i'm on the second case) are the lack of some substances on the brain (neurotransmissors and things like that), and that's where the medicaments enter: though the first weeks are hard, anti-depressives and tranquilizers will help so much in the treatment to fight against the sorrow and anxiousity. She'll need you dude, so much. But don't go over, don't try to help her if she wants to do it alone or to be alone (like metalgear said). Just don't let her "alone" (i mean she needs to know that you count on her, and that she'll never be alone), and be patient with her needs.
I still haven't tried the medicaments, since I'm with stomachal problems too. But when I get better of my stomach probs, I'll sure try some medicaments. A lot of people said that anti-depressives work so I'm putting my hope on it.

Well Silenus, please count on me when you need ok?
Good luck to you and your gf, and do not worry, she'll be better faster than you think.

[Kirby]

Originally Posted by Cid Highwind

You can take her to a psychiatrist or psychologist (what's the difference anyway?)

psychiatrists are mostly there to hand out the proper medication. The psychologist diagnose and tries to treat you through discussion

[killivippin]

Take her to a shrink. They will be able to help her a lot better than a message board for the emulation of next-generation systems!

[Silenus]

Originally Posted by killivippin

Take her to a shrink. They will be able to help her a lot better than a message board for the emulation of next-generation systems!

I know that.
But this board is full of people who have RL and have problems also.
So it's good to hear advice from people that has dealt with that personally.

[Ryos]

Short of professional counseling, there is something else you can try that works for me when I'm down. Is she interested in any sort of time-consuming hobby like writing? I know when I get all pissed off at the world, I play a video game or watch some anime and my bad mood goes away until something else really bothers me, then I repeat the cycle. The longer a depression lasts, the more potentially problematic it will be.

[blueshogun96]

@kirby: I didn't mean it that way. It was just a suggestion.

Also, I have never had a gf in my entire life, but I do know a thing or two about being a good bf. And I know a good bf when I see one. Depression is often caused by situations of extreme stress. Sometimes a nice relaxing vacation can help releive that stress. I don't know what type of income you have or if you live on your own or not, but if you want ( or can afford ) a trip to Hawaii or Jamacia, or wherever you and your woman would like to go, just... go This just a personal suggestion, I'm not exactly reccomending it.

It worked for me before. A trip back to my sweet home Seattle, Washington changed my outlook on life. I was having a hard time dealing with the death of my father (the tragedy happened on on my 18th birthday). The trip changed me for the better. Frankly, I was the only one who had grown stronger in the family because the incedent.

Ohhh... The good memories of 1987. How I wish I could go back to that year...


BTW, do you know whats causing your gf's depression? Please don't think that I'm sexist, but it seems that women can get depressed easier than men.

[Boltzmann]

Originally Posted by Cid Highwind

You can take her to a psychiatrist or psychologist (what's the difference anyway?)

Psychiatrists are real doctors, psychologists are not. IMHO I think that psychologists are a big waste of time and money (in fact, most psychology courses include crap like psychoanalysis, which is just a big scam).

As for the topic at hand, I recommend Silenus to take his GF to a psychiatrist. As Kirby pointed out, there're tons of antidepressants out there, and it's dangerous to try them out without a doctor's advice (besides, you won't even be able to buy them, unless you can fake the prescriptions).

On the other hand, you can just learn to live with the depression. That's what I've done. Medication often has a lot of side effects, and I don't think it's worth the effort for me. I just go read a book, or play a game, or watch some really good movie, and it goes away in a day or two.

[MiretanK]

Originally Posted by Boltzmann

Medication often has a lot of side effects, and I don't think it's worth the effort for me.

That's what bugs me... =/

[DB7]

I confess to being confused on this subject.

When does depression go from just being a bad mood, to becoming a illness?

[industrian]

Originally Posted by blueshogun96

Please don't think that I'm sexist, but it seems that women can get depressed easier than men.

It does. Hate to sound stereotypical here, but females feel the need of a "pack mentality" more than men so they seek to fit in. More men probably are depressed, but due to our nature, we don't tend to talk about it. The "real men cry inside" stereotype. I fit in there, but it's not like I have anyone to talk to. Anyone who would listen that is.

Originally Posted by Boltzmann

Psychiatrists are real doctors, psychologists are not. IMHO I think that psychologists are a big waste of time and money (in fact, most psychology courses include crap like psychoanalysis, which is just a big scam).

Ph33r t3h Sci3nt0l0gistz!!!!!!1111111111onehundredandone!!!

Originally Posted by Boltzmann

As for the topic at hand, I recommend Silenus to take his GF to a psychiatrist. As Kirby pointed out, there're tons of antidepressants out there, and it's dangerous to try them out without a doctor's advice (besides, you won't even be able to buy them, unless you can fake the prescriptions)..

I'd never recommend medication. Especially in this world where everyone is made to feel like they have a disease just so that GlaxoSmithKline and Merck can make a Mount Everest of profit.

Originally Posted by Boltzmann

On the other hand, you can just learn to live with the depression.

When it comes to me, I take the mentality that "all great art is made from suffering."

Originally Posted by DB7

I confess to being confused on this subject.

When does depression go from just being a bad mood, to becoming a illness?

Depression is an illness.

[Kirby]

Originally Posted by DB7

I confess to being confused on this subject.

When does depression go from just being a bad mood, to becoming a illness?

depression is not about being in a bad mood...it's about being in a hopeless mood all the time.

Depression is usually inherited by family genetics (in my case), or some sort of catostrophic event. Usually if you felt like **** for more than a few weeks, then really consider getting yourself tested.

[Boltzmann]

Originally Posted by Miretank

That's what bugs me... =/

You should always make a cost/benefit analysis. If her depression is really bad (e.g. she can't do anything while depressed, or she tries to commit suicide often), then you should look for professional help and get medication. If not (such as in my case), then she's better off learning to live with it.

Anyway, psychologists suck. If you ever seek professional help, look for a real doctor (i.e. a psychiatrist). A psychologist will only take your money and give some nice talk that is supposed to help.

Originally Posted by industrian

It does. Hate to sound stereotypical here, but females feel the need of a "pack mentality" more than men so they seek to fit in. More men probably are depressed, but due to our nature, we don't tend to talk about it. The "real men cry inside" stereotype. I fit in there, but it's not like I have anyone to talk to. Anyone who would listen that is.

Reality is a bit more complicated than this [1]. Anyway, differences in brain structure (especially GABA receptors) can explain the higher incidence of depression among women, not only the social factors that you mention.

1. Sex differences and the epidemiology of depression

Originally Posted by industrian

I'd never recommend medication. Especially in this world where everyone is made to feel like they have a disease just so that GlaxoSmithKline and Merck can make a Mount Everest of profit.

I'm not too fond of medication either (as I said, I don't use it), but for the chronically depressed, sometimes medication is necessary (Prozac has changed many lives for the better).

Originally Posted by industrian

When it comes to me, I take the mentality that "all great art is made from suffering."

I'm no artist, and I don't enjoy suffering, but I've learned to live with my depression (and to recognize it when it comes - I've to thank my GF for this).

[industrian]

Originally Posted by Boltzmann

I'm no artist, and I don't enjoy suffering, but I've learned to live with my depression (and to recognize it when it comes - I've to thank my GF for this).

I find myself more creative when I'm depressed, and through "creating" it takes my mind off things and even can help me.