The First and the Last

[Ninjaa]

I have had a couple of days to calm down, and I thought that now that I had a clear head, I would post my first and last post here. I wasn't initially going to do this, but since it seems that my story wasn't really told, and most of the people here simply trust Kane's side as that's all there is, I would tell my side of it. I guess it doesn't really matter, as I am gone either way, and I am not really going to look back on this place in any detail again anyway. There's just the part of me that can't stand leaving like this, and I have to accomodate it. I had always intended to simply dissapear into the darkness as a Ninja should, but in the end my anger overcame me, and I left the way I did. I was going to post something similar the night before, but Fawad managed to calm me down. I suppose I should have just left it at that, and left that night.

I didn't though. I came back for the last day, and I wasn't able to surpress my desire to let loose anymore. I don't regret the things I said, and I never will. I do regret the manner in which I presented it. If I was going to make that my last post, I should have done a better job of it. This post will serve that purpose. Hopefully I will make my reasons clear for leaving, and will also make it clear why I am never coming back. Also... I hope that you might understand why I said what I did, even if in all likelihood most of you would have chose a different course of action.

I suppose I should address this thread first of all. It was primarily motivated by these two threads.

The first one was an obvious bug. Sure, the post might have been spam, but it would have been gone in less than 5 minutes, and no mod would have seen it if a bug hadn't prevented me from deleting it. The simple fact that Kane hadn't believed me infuriated me, as it basically showed how much respect he had for me. The second thread also came off as a big "**** you". I was a little curious about how far the people in Shadow Lady's thread were liberal when it came to things that even they would obviously think was wrong. So I created a second thread to make a point. Kane deleted it, and hid it without sending any kind of notification to me on how I was breaking any rules (and to this day I am still very much in the dark as to how I broke any rules. Bestiality may be illegal in some states, but so are same sex marriages, MP3 downloads, and downloading ROMs of games that haven't been released yet. (This last comment is a reference to a PM I once sent to Kane about the discussion of the Metroid Fusion ROM which was leaked on the internet and had 3 threads about it growing rapidly. I messaged him with a request to lock them as he was a big proponent of banning Doom III beta discussion. He kind of brushed me off saying that it didn't matter by that point, and he hadn't noticed the threads earlier. Considering he had posted in one, and the game still wasn't out yet, I knew it was BS, but I backed down and swallowed my pride because I didn't want to be on an admin's bad side at the time. Boy was I naive.)) I created a second thread with the same name to spite him, and it was once again closed, but this time with this message.

BTW I'm really getting tried of your recent spate of spam threads. One more and your post count will

Given that by this point Kane knew that I was telling the truth about the bug, (Ask him about it. He was the one who fixed it.), and before that the only thread I had created in question was this one, I was extremely angered by his choice of words. I have only created a handful of threads the entire time I was here, and every one of them (save 2) has had some sort of meaning. The thread above was closed before any meaning could manifest itself. The two bogus threads I DID create were intended to be deleted before any admins logged on. Betamax unexpectedly found the first before I could delete it, as it was just an inside joke, and the second I was UNABLE to delete after its allotted time, as a bug prevented me from doing so. If I am considered a spammer by Kane's criteria, then I guess he hasn't looked in the mirror lately. I may have posted a lot, but I was never a spammer. My responses almost always had more than a single line, and I always had a point. I didn't post if I had nothing to say. I don't double post, and I don't think that the threads I did create that day were anything, out of, the ordinary, around here, and I am most certainly not the only one who has problems with bugs on this forum.

Yet I am the spammer.

I wrote my last post in haste, and I didn't really think it through when typing it. When I started, I thought I would follow K.I.L.E.R.'s actions, and simply get my post count reset, if only to show that I am not posting for the sake of my post count, as K.I.L.E.R. did when he was faced with the same situation as me. By the end of the post though, I realized that I was through here. I am still very glad that my post count was reset though. It makes me feel a lot better about all the time I wasted here. I think it's best if I just remembered this post as being my first and last post here, and left it at that. I would feel a lot better about that, than visitors to the site seeing one of my old posts and knowing I spent so much time here, and left with nothing but anger and disrespect to show for it.

I didn't leave strictly for the reasons I listed above though. I have been waiting for the right time to leave for a while, and I did make my intentions known to a few people here. My reasons at the time were simply a lack of interest. A few of my favorite people to talk to around here either had me on their ignore list, or had already left the board. I also couldn't really say much regarding Nintendo, as most people would just brush me off as a fanboy until someone else said the exact same thing that I did but in different words. I was very tired of being an echo. The console war thread was also active at that time, but it became increasingly clear to me that the thread had gone to hell without any chance of recovery. Takmedius showed up in the last few pages of it, and did nothing but increase its rate of decay, posting nothing but hatred for the thread, and doing nothing but adding to the amount of spam that was already too prevalent in that thread. Shortly after the thread was closed, I cheered at its passing as it could no longer be corrupted by such pettiness, but I still messaged Tak and flamed him all the same. I suppose I regret that a little, but put in the same situation again, I think I would do it again, as I feel he had it coming.

I stuck around for the online gaming thread and the new awards forum, as I just had to beat EFace in the craziest person category. After I won member of the year, I kind of didn't want to leave right away. The incident with Kane managed to show me just how much I hated aspects of this board though. The follow up to that in the last thread I created proved to me that some of the other admins here had little respect for me either. If all this board is losing is a spammer, then I am glad to be gone. That's my take on that.

I came back today, not only to post this, but to finish the job I started the other day. I changed my password to gibberish, but neglected to change my email address in my profile. so after retrieving my password via the lost password system, and changing my email address to nonsense and changing my password yet again, I am gone for good with no chance of returning. I will not create a new account either. This chapter is done.

Anyways, this post is getting very long, and I think I have made my position fairly clear. Shiori, Evil Squall, sx/amiga, Raziel, Samor, 501XX, Shadow Lady, Bgnome, and Dark Watcher, I am sorry I was too general when talking about admins before. I was referring to specific ones of course, and I shouldn't have generalized so much.

The list of members I will miss is of course is far greater, and I cannot list them all in this post but please be content with knowing that I wish you all well.

-=Ninja=- (Alpha and Omega)

[Yeloazndevil]

Ninja it will be sad for u to leave this board, but I will remember your time here I hope we will still talk online I have gotten your Chat names so hope to be talking to u soon...*I'm gonna miss u buddy...* *Sniff*

[Kamina]

Yeh, I'll admit I've only been here for a little bit but I've noticed a certain animosity and double-standard towards you. Still, that sort of BS can't be avoided.

Well since I didn't really know you all that well I'll keep this short... So long, and thanks for all the fish

[Strider]

sigh, sad to see another go... change really sucks... i hope you arent gonna stop going on msn though or something, we can still play AA

[Napro]

bye bye

[cooliscool]

Damn.. later ninja. I'll miss you.

But you'll still be on IRC, right?

[RF]

L8ts. Most of the time I do feel the same way....

Slash my posts for saying this but Kane does pull alot of that sh!t. Either police it all or not at all. But there is still no1 to police the police.

Im not so perfect myself, but im not an admin/mod.

Sorry it had to come to such a dismal end to your "saga" for say...
Best of luck, best of times.
-Reich

EDIT:

Originally posted by cooliscool
Damn.. later ninja. I'll miss you.

But you'll still be on IRC, right?

I highly doubt in #ngemu.

[Kane]

I did actualy leave an explaination for the closing of your bestiality thread before someone else hid it.
I then left an explination in your second thread as well.
Initialy I thought you were just playing the fool. Then I noted a problem with the permissions and fixed it. I wasn't a particularly good mood at the time (R-L probs), so I neglected to apologise. Shikataganai. What's done is done.
I'm sorry that you somehow feel that it's my ult that you left, but hey.

[Syed Fawad]

I have now 50% less reasons to visit NGemu.

[(F)ragnarok(F)]

:sad: there goes another one. i wonder who's next... well ne way, c ya, ninja. it was fun reading ur posts

[Esturk]

Take care Ninja. Princess of SPAM! j/k . We'll miss you dude! Ciao.

[Quatro]

well... another page of history in NGemu have been turned... we'll miss you NIntendo fanatic! Wish you all the best in life!

[Prafull]

Too bad .... Another member goes. But thats life.... when someone goes there is always someone else who fills in his spot.

Btw, you proved your great writing skills in that last post of yours.

But I must say that if you were looking forward to leaving the forums from some time you chose the wrong time to leave.

[JAZ]

Sorry to see you go Ninja especially as I bought a NGC yesterday
Anyway take care, we'll miss your unique style
Its just a pity some people take these forums too seriouslly

[Shiori]

Well, I guess that ends all speculations.

But there is still no1 to police the police.
Im not so perfect myself, but im not an admin/mod.

Actually we police our ranks ourselves. It's just that it's discussed in the admin forum, not here.

As for your second statement, no one is perfect, not even admnistrators. we're people too just like you, and just like you we have our quirks too. It just so happens that it's hyped 50 times over due to our position as administrators.

We knew when we took on this job that we'll have a lot of responsibility riding on our shoulders, and we could dump it anytime we want if we feel it's not worth our time anymore. But that would result in lawlessness here, which could ultimately lead to NGEmu's closure. So in the end, we all lose.

The strictness here has a reason for being. We might be strict, but not overly strict. We try to stike a balance between fun and seriousness whenever possible, so please understand. Most of us rose from the ranks ourselves, so we know how it feels on your side. I was once an active critic of the admins too, in case you didn't know. Just ask sxamiga.

[Hanamichi]

I dont think you'll be seeing this, but it was fun while it lasted. So long, Ninja.

[vivrantpig]

god dam ninja y u always gotta make useless drama in this forum.. itz just stupid.. i really dont care about ur dumb arguments...

[T.O.F.K.A.Z]

Farewell Ninja I wish you the best in the rest of your life.

[Kellicros]

It's sad to see you go, Ninja, best of luck.
But at least, KILER is back.

[Kazuya Mishima]

I now im little late and maybe you wont see this, but im gonna miss you, you used to put a little of spice in the threads.