Dreamcast fans are retarded, shows Sega study

[MT]

Tokyo, Japan – The history of videogames is littered with triumphs and tragedies but none grasp the gaming public’s imagination the way the demise of a console does. From the Atari 7800 to the Neo-Geo great and terrible machines have been relegated magnavox odyssey
to history as they variously outstripped expectations or were woefully behind the market. Though the days of failed machines are likely now gone with the three-headed dragon that dominates the marketplace those machines that have passed on into history, continue to rule the hearts of many gamers, with one particular machine holding an extra special place.

Released to the world in 1999 to massive acclaim and even more massive sales the Sega Dreamcast was without a doubt far ahead of its time. Integrating cutting edge graphics, online gaming, and an enviable library of dreamcast logo
games the Dreamcast was to be the true next generation of gaming. Less than two years later the machine was dead and Sega, which had helped shape the modern console, was relegated to a software manufacturer. Now though, ten years after its release many gamers are still mourning the death of their beloved machine in ways no other console has seen. Now a new study conducted by Sega into the nature of those Dreamcast lovers indicates that their incredible attachment to machine may in fact be due to serious mental illness, causing them to implore people to just let the machine rest in peace.

“We have conducted a very thorough study of Dreamcast players and in many cases shenmue
we the people with the strongest attachment show serious mental and emotional issues. Some have even shown signs of cognitive issues bordering on retardation,” said Sega spokesperson. “We at Sega all lamented the demise of the Dreamcast as we all had great affection for the machine. We have gotten over it though and moved on and we would like to encourage all of our fans to do the same. The machine was great but it’s time has passed and we want people to enjoy the benefits of the wonderful new machines currently on the market rather than spend time with a dead machine.”n64 goldeneye

Nintendo recently conducted a similar study to try and root out the cause of the continued affection for the twelve-year old Nintendo 64 title ‘Goldeneye’. The results of that study were kept secret but insiders indicate that many of the players show signs of serious mental retardation.

“Nostalgia is a very strong thing and oftentimes it can lead to odd and even destructive behaviour. Death is a part of life and people need to learn that in order to move on and live happy and healthy lives. We can’t continue to live as those things have not changed even if they jet grind radio
very clearly have,” said Scrape TV Psychology analyst Dr. Sarah Welp. “This kind of obsessive behaviour can lead to mental issues later down the line if it is not treated effectively. Inevitably, these are the kinds of people who will have trouble accepting the death of loved ones. These are the kinds of people who end up storing their parents in closets and doing other funny things.”

Many games have been released for the Dreamcast since its demise, most of them of the homebrew nature. Despite much more advanced machines, that trend has continued with the upcoming release of ‘Rush Rush Rally Racing’ for the system, something which has disturbed Sega officials.

“The Dreamcast was way ahead of its time and it still has things that modern super retard
machines don’t but the simple truth is it has passed into the ether. It’s gone, it’s dead and people need to accept that. You don’t see people continuing to play the Magnavox Odyssey or the Atari 400, at least not in the numbers we see with the Dreamcast,” said Scrape TV Gaming analyst Graeme Hawthorne. “There is little doubt that there is something a little funny with the people still insisting that the Dreamcast is viable. There’s nothing wrong with having a retro night once and a while but once you start to live the fantasy that this thing is still around you are in dangerous territory and really should see someone.”

Sega has set up a special hotline for gamers interested in talking about their Dreamcast issues.

source: Sega study finds Dreamcast fans suffering from mental illness / Scrape TV - The World on your side

holy **** batman, its now official that we are nutcases

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[Dynamo]

“We have conducted a very thorough study of Dreamcast players and in many cases the people with the strongest attachment show serious mental and emotional issues. Some have even shown signs of cognitive issues bordering on retardation,” said Sega spokesperson.

[Paratech]

So what does that say about Wii gamers playing retro games on their Wii? or PS3/360 gamers still hooked on Marvel vs Capcom 2? or people into emulation? or gamers playing Playstation games on the Playstation 3/PSP?

Or playing Atari 2600 games on an Atari 2600?

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[BigIg]

This seems like a rude thing for Sega to say, even if it is at least somewhat factual.

They set up a hot line for this though? I need to call it for the lulz.

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Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

[zidine00]

was this sega uk or a different branch?

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Why do we have a million doomsday devices, and no answering machine?

[BigIg]

Well it says Tokyo, Japan so....

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Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

[zidine00]

ehmm i may have missed that part.... anyway

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Why do we have a million doomsday devices, and no answering machine?

[strike105x]

Others would love to have such fans for there consoles and this guys are calling there's retarded , well anyway i still love the dreamcast

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[Azatos]

But, I still like the Dreamcast and Goldeneye! Time to throw me in the nuthouse

[PCXL-Fan]

Explains JKK.... but doesn't explain Cid Highwind, he's perhaps one of the most stable well balanced well adjusted regulars on the forum.

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Originally Posted by Exodus

Yes, I like anime, Street Fighter, Japanese music and download video game music. Yes, I know... I've changed.

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[zidine00]

you know what id hate to see what they say about people who still play the mega drive/genisis.

im a madman A MADMAN I TELL YOU AND I CAN NOT CONTROL MY CAPILTAL LETTEL LEVEL.

ehmm, sorry about that.

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Why do we have a million doomsday devices, and no answering machine?

[Proto]

I guess most people here already realise this but...

From the site itself

All content herein should be considered rumour or truth based solely on your perspective.

When something is too good or too funny to be truth, normally it isn't. True story.

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[Spyhop]

Science should now turn it's attentions to X-bots to find out what makes them tick.

Joking aside, that seems like a BS article.

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[MT]

and of course, more the people uses old consoles, more sega will lose money so...

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[runawayprisoner]

I think what the article means to say is that people who "don't" recognize that the DreamCast is dead and get over it show signs of mental disorders.

So those who have acknowledged the fact that the console is dead are fine, I think.

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[strike105x]

There shall come a time when the Dreamcast will rise from the ashes and shall guide us towards the future after of course leading us in defeating the hordes of undeads after that the survivors will be lead to the future and live happily ever after in the Elysian Plains free to play with its divine gamepads.

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[PCXL-Fan]

So could console/car/(magazine?) attachment obsession be the 21st century man's security blanket?

maybe...!

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Originally Posted by Exodus

Yes, I like anime, Street Fighter, Japanese music and download video game music. Yes, I know... I've changed.

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Last edited by PCXL-Fan; September 29th, 2009 at 05:13..

[taumpytears]

sounds like propaganda to get people to buy new crap (even if it sucks balls. buy the new products or your a retard). it's that simple.

is anybody else offended by this. newer does not mean better. i have my taste and i stick to it because i think it desn't suck like new generation crap.

they're just trying to get people like me to buy a new system. if you keep playing old games something is wrong with you.
well something is wrong with me... i think for my @#$#@@* self!!!

just to clarify things... it's not that i think the dreamcast has the technical capabilities to hang with newer systems... i'm just saying i like the GAMES of the past.

it's like a cosmopolitan magazine article about how men are big dumb gorillas.

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Last edited by taumpytears; September 29th, 2009 at 01:27.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

[Paratech]

Here's a simple question, which game is better? Sonic Adventure 2 or Sonic and the Black Knight?

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[taumpytears]

havent played black knight. but just watched some on youtube and looked at least no better than sonic adventure 1 (haven't played 2 either).

which one came out for the wii in it's early months? matbe a release title for the wii (around that time). i played that one and it sucked really really bad.