[Metalmurphy]

Sony: Herro. Thees isa Sony Compyooter Entatainment of Japan. Ret's talk, okay?

misinformer: Hello, what? Um... is this Mr. Usohappyaku? I just received a Playstation 3 in the mail, and I wanted to ask you about...

Sony: Ahh-so! You a super-rucky rucky man, you! We only senda one Praystation 3 to America fora sneek preview, and you at ign.com win rottery! Congraturatons!

mis: Actually this is misin... ign.com, yes. Hi there.

Sony: Herro?

mis: So Mr. Usohappyaku, I can't tell you how excited I am to have this machine in my hands. I could pee myself, I really could. Would you walk me through the new features of the PS3?

Sony: Ah yes. I ama so happy to help you, Mr. Potty man. The Praystation 3 is a super advanced machine of technology. It will confuse and amaze you two times. Rooka at the back of the machine.

mis: I've noticed there are a few thrillingly exotic looking integrated modules on this machine that I've never seen on any console before. What is this first one on the left here labeled "internet?"

Sony: Whaa? Are you a stupid man? It isa internet in the port!

mis: So you mean, you can plug a phone line into it, and play multi-player games online, like with the Dreamcast?

Sony: Dreamcast? Ha ha, funny stupid yankee! You dishonor me with your mention of this Dreamcast. The Praystation 3 does not connect to internet, Praystation 3 CONTAIN the internet. You prugga in the computer to the port, the internet isa all there. We copy it inside machine for fast access.

mis: Wait, so you're saying that you copied every single file on the internet into this box? That doesn't even make any sense! The internet is a constantly changing network of millions of individual machines. How does the PS3 update its so called "internet" if it has no connections to the real network?

Sony: Thasa right. No connections. Praystation 3 get internet from outerspace.

mis: And its power?

Sony: It run on love.