no something like:
yeah! this **** of a game is so awesome, too bad the controls are ****, but the main character is so *****ing you can forgive all that. Except when you're *** so that you wont like the characters great assets! .. something like that..

.. (this is if the game is good)
(if it's bad)
****! ****! ****! this is bull****! all the controls are sooo **** it sucks allt the way to kingdom come! You'd expect that the charater could do more, but not only does she look like a retarded ****, she looks like she sucks the **** of an elephant.. yeah.. something like that.. ehe

j/k

and this is on a good day.. im pretty sure i could do better tho..